Quora Answers: Narcissistic Abuse Defined

So, this is my take. I was dating this fitness guru. Winner of national level bodybuilding titles for 4 years running, represented the country in some martial art championships before that. Extremely good looking and in his late 20s. Now, I am an investment banker. I was in my mid thirties with a marriage gone bad and all my life I had dated only nerds and geeks that had weird pent up sexual fantasies. As for us, we split up when he had to move.

Flying monkeys (popular psychology)

Flying monkeys [1] is a term used in popular psychology , mainly in the context of narcissistic abuse , [2] to describe people who act on behalf of a narcissist towards a third party, usually for an abusive purpose e. Abuse by proxy or proxy abuse is a closely related or synonymous concept. A flying monkey can be anyone who believes the narcissist’s fake persona , including the narcissist’s spouse, child, friend, sibling or cousin.

According to narcissistic personality disorder NPD author Sam Vaknin and other writers, proxy abusers can come from a number of sources: [3] [7] [10]. The flying monkey does the narcissist’s bidding to inflict additional torment on the target. The flying monkeys may make it seem like the narcissist is not really involved, and they likely have no idea that they are being used.

% questions are asked anonymously on Quora. Further, find that the users use online dating services in identity ex- ploration and How do you tell the differences between bpd, histronic, narcissism, an- tisocial, and.

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The Secret Façade of the Vulnerable Narcissist

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Dating · Education · Studying · Relationship. How to determine if someone has narcissistic traits or NPD – Quora Narcissistic Traits, Traits. Saved from ​.

Subscriber Account active since. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is hard work. Even if things appear to be going well, there’s no telling what’s going to set off their narcissistic rage. They may not always mean to hurt their partners , but more often than not, they do. It’s up to you to decide if you’re willing to take the risk, or try and make the relationship work. Just bear in mind it’ll be emotionally draining, and you may end up getting discarded anyway.

A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to try and hook someone in who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire. That way, they feel more accomplished if they succeed in tearing them down. Shannon Thomas, the author of the book ” Healing from Hidden Abuse ,” told Business Insider that whatever strength a narcissist zeros in on, “they turn that around and destroy it.

How to spot a psychopath revealed by a man with the disorder

Dating early in a relationship Business insider checked out quora user, there are about perspectives and the tricky space of. It quora brings together people quora brings together people from self-awareness. Find out more about relationship, this page. Dating in which the initial.

Quora member Jacob Wells claims to score 34 on the Hare checklist, dating settings where I present myself as being perfect, but unaware of it (both It measures Machiavellian, narcissistic and psychopathic traits to tell you.

By Sarah Griffiths for MailOnline. Like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, psychopaths can be intelligent and charming, while hiding a lack of empathy. So given their ability to manipulate others, how easy it is for you to spot one? Self-professed psychopath Jacob Wells has revealed how he behaves in different situations and has listed questions that may help others identify whether they have any psychopathic traits – as well as recognise them in others.

Like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, played by Christian Bale, pictured psychopaths can be intelligent and charming, while hiding a lack of empathy. Now a self-confessed psychopath has shared how he generally behaves to gain the trust of others and then use them to his own advantage. These include superficial charm, a grandiose notion of self-worth, the need for stimulation and impulsiveness, pathological lying, the ability to manipulate others and a lack of remorse and empathy.

Of course, not all psychopaths are criminals and murderers – in fact, many hold important positions in businesses thanks to their ruthless and impulsive attitude. The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised PCL-R is used as a diagnostic tool to determine where someone lies on the psychopathy spectrum, as not all psychopaths display all the traits. There are 20 items on the checklist, which score between zero and two points depending on whether someone matches a trait, to give a score out of

Why Narcissists Want to Make Their Partners Jealous

Our game is over. We can keep fighting and cuddling and crying and shanking each other in the most intimate wounds we shared when trust was the drug we shot each other up with but I have no trust left to give you. Yet despite the blood dripping down your face, your charming mask remains perfectly in place, a lifetime of practice no doubt, and sadly, I know other women are destined to ignore the bloody warnings and suffer the same fate.

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Jason Calacanis: “So are hard driving founders narcissists? Mark Goulston: “If anything they’re more like people with features of Asperger’s Syndrome. Both narcissists and high functioning people with Asperger like features are goal minded to a fault, and both can view other people more as functions or vehicles to achieve that goal instead of as people with feelings. However a critical difference between the two is that a narcissist doesn’t care if they hurt you or your feelings and the truly malignant ones may even take delight in doing so , whereas someone with Asperger’s like features would prefer not to.

My advice to people who live with malignant narcissists is to get out and to those who live with narcissists to demand they get help or else you are going to painfully lonely and making excuses for them to friends, family and you children forever. However if you live with someone with Asperger like features it’s a little more complicated. For instance even though you may feel how they treat you is meant personally, if what they do is not meant personally, it’s not right for you to take it personally.

That means it is neither fair nor reasonable to treat someone who is just not sensitive i. Instead of reacting and talking at them, be calm and talk to or with them and focus on their specific observable behavior s and the effect it has on you and what it causes you to do in response, which you don’t want to do. Furthermore, give them a specific alternative observable behavior to do instead, because in these areas that they are weak, they may not be teachable, but they are often trainable if you speak to them in a respectful way.

If you are the person with Asperger like features you may be dumbfounded since your intention is never to hurt the people you care about, or for that matter to hurt anyone. Rather your intention is just to move projects forward towards the goal you have in mind. I remember the time an entrepreneur with Asperger like feature brought in his 14 year old daughter at the insistence of his wife, who told him in no uncertain terms, “You need to go see Dr. Goulston, because your daughter can’t stand you.

Why Are Borderlines Attracted to Narcissists?

Covert Narcissist Quora Want to heal from narcissistic abuse while continuing a relationship with a narcissist? Watch this video to learn more. The malignant narcissist in your life may not be serving time in jail.

Here’s the question in full: To what extent do you agree with this statement: I am a narcissist? (Note: The word ‘narcissist’ means egotistical, self-.

Personality disorders exist on a spectrum , and psychiatric professionals define these conditions with characteristics that everyone possesses to different degrees. As such, diagnosis is a difficult process best left to the professionals. As is the case with other personality disorders, narcissism exists on a spectrum. How do you avoid this type of manipulation? For starters, if you feel like someone is treating you badly, pay attention to that feeling, and to the ways someone may be orchestrating your breakdown.

For example:. Narcissists want to make you unsure of yourself so you are more likely to rely on them for help. This vulnerability makes you susceptible to further harmful tactics. For more information on this common technique and how to respond, watch our video below. This classic manipulation technique is also one of the most damaging.

The Aftermath of Loving a Narcissist

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Narcissism is a deep distortion in one’s sense of self. A narcissist’s life is about gaining “narcissistic supply”: attention, wealth, power, control.

He built a following. Many better minds than mine have offered up their thoughts on our latest cultural icon. But I am interested in what he is saying. And I am fascinated by the fact that some of his followers feel their lives were changed by a self-help book Peterson published based on a list of maxims he wrote on Quora one time.

I did not understand it, and I wanted to. The idea came to me one evening, while out with colleagues. I want to read the book, I told them, and try to live out the rules. I cannot despise Jordan Peterson, as I thought I might. Because I fear that on some level, Jordan Peterson despises me. Not lobsters, exactly, but the ancestors of lobsters.

10 Signs You’re A Covert Narcissist

The farthest from the Sun, Pluto is very secretive and hides itself below a standard orbit. Pluto, the God of the Underworld in classical mythology, is calm, quiet, calculating, and stays under the radar! Birth, death, transformation, the underworld and rebellion are its strong suits. An empath can be assertive too. Just like Pluto, true empaths hate being in the limelight but possess a potent dose of self-esteem and self-awareness.

You can tell them apart from their calm, collected and introverted nature.

How Is Narcissistic Abuse Different From Other Emotional And Mental Abuse?. I’​m basing this answer purely from my own perspective and experiences.

At first, they seem so quiet and unobtrusive; a refreshing break from the normal banter of one-up-man-ship that frequently dominates an initial conversation. But then the sly remarks characteristic of inattentiveness began, along with a victimization mentality where the whole world is out to get them, and hypersensitivity to unintentional disparaging comments. The switch is so dramatic that it is hardly noticeable until it becomes unnerving.

The narcissistic qualities of a vulnerable narcissist VN are masked by helplessness, emotionality, and reticent behavior. They are not dissimilar to covert or introverted narcissists which fly far under the grandiose radar of a typical narcissist. Here are some signs of a VN:. They actually have far more in common and are very capable of narcissistic behavior.

It is just done is a sneaky manner. Christine Hammond is a leading mental health influencer, author, and guest speaker. Her practice specializes in treating families of abuse, and trauma, with personality disorders involved which are based on her own personal experience. Based in Orlando, you may connect with Christine at Grow with Christine www. Find help or get online counseling now. Psych Central Professional.

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Are narcissists more attracted to people in relationships than to people not in relationships?

So, you think you’re an introvert. You scored “I” on a Myers-Briggs test. Your friends describe you as reserved and independent. And you may very well be introverted — but an additional explanation for your behavior could be underway: Some self-described introverts might actually be covert narcissists. The two personality profiles contain many overlapping traits, but they stem from very different roots.

While we can all be a bit narcissistic at times, some people take narcissism to a whole new level, with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at the upper extreme.

Flying monkeys is a term used in popular psychology, mainly in the context of narcissistic “7 psychological phrases to know if you’re dating a narcissist”.

Does grandiose narcissism predict greater attraction for others in relationships? We examined this question by replicating previous work implicating grandiose narcissists as mate poachers Studies 1 and 2. We then used an experimental paradigm Studies 3 and 4 to assess the extent to which grandiose narcissists indicate a greater interest in someone who is already in a relationship compared to someone who is single. Results suggest that although grandiose narcissism related to reports of more frequent mate poaching attempts, grandiose narcissists did not appear to be more interested in taking someone away from an existing relationship.

Instead, participants took their own relationship status into consideration rather than the relationship status of a target when evaluating their interest in a target for a short-term fling or a long-term relationship. Thus, although grandiose narcissists report more frequent mate poaching attempts, they do not appear to be more interested in people in relationships compared to those who are single. In this paper, we examine the extent to which those who are higher in grandiose narcissism report greater attraction for people who are already in relationships.

Grandiose narcissism is marked by selfishness, arrogance, inflated self-views, and high extraversion paired with low neuroticism and agreeableness [ 2 , 3 ]. Grandiose narcissists believe they are special and unique, entitling them to more than others [ 4 ]. They take advantage of others [ 5 ], experience less guilt for their transgressions [ 6 ], and are less moral in their reasoning about their everyday behavior that could potentially be harmful to others [ 7 ].

Despite these negative qualities, grandiose narcissists are charming and socially skilled [ 8 ], aiding their ability to attain positions of leadership and power [ 9 ].

Top 5 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist